new world liberalism

this new world liberalism that advocates about the power to do , the power to choose, the freedom to be or to do anything and this swashbuckling individualism that is purported in books, films and media, leads to some very confusing and skewed causality.

though the world advocates such, the truth about is that we're not in control of anything. we're not even like a painter who can say "I'm just going to go into my studio and do my work." But you need someone to appreciate that art or it has to sell or it has to move someone out there to actually reach out and accept your art.

And to our surprise we find that we just can't will that for all our ability to paint or desire to paint or even just plain passion to do some art.

we finally are waiting for somebody to hand us that acceptance & appreciation.
we're in this wildly dependent position.

In contrast, actors, who go from barely acting to being on the cover of magazines and tabloids kinda tells them that they have arrived in this world.

common folk can't really be surprised if such actors have a skewed perspective of their importance in the world, when common folk envy them and the media come together implying that these actors are the most important thing in the world now.
It can be quiet confusing and disconcerting, when the actors themselves believe this implication, I mean can you blame them for this skewed recognition and appreciation.

but then it is the actors who make us common folk believe about the new world liberalism and we common folk wait for our own recognition and appreciation believing this new world liberalism!

to nip this, the liberalism and individualism is a myth or for that matter poppycock. What we do has large 'effects on others' and if this is true then we are to a large extent a causality of the 'efforts of others'.

the story

have more often than not, wanted to know how far one can go with belief in life. I mean if you really believe, you've got to have this passion that can make you tell the story every time.

At its very worst, It requires resilience and heart and self-belief(providence and purpose) even after it's been knocked out of you. It's a certain kind of a test.

And the story is just getting along and you've got to keep the passion alive. Most of all you've got to keep that love for what you are creating alive. And it's hard and the training alone will kill you.

And it tough to keep the passion alive for the love of the game. I mean if you don't love what you are doing, I doubt you could tell the story.

And that's before people start giving you a dig. and it does take awhile for the story to makes sense. But you've got to keep telling the story and keep it alive.
If ever, you do have your soul torn, you kind of adopt that kind of conflict, it's difficult to quit.

the real icing on the cake is I suppose: to have a highly developed capacity for self-delusion, to believe.

love, longing and belonging

my parents are settled in a sleepy town in Kerala, work keeps taking me around, was raised in Bombay, post graduate studies at Pune, have been to the east and the west and I just can't say where I like to be at the end of the day.
At some level I don't feel any solitude, if people ever do choose that feeling to live or call a place home.

I've managed to create a sense of banishment in so many different areas of my life.
That its hard to say where I really belong.

that moment

You can be ignorant about this for a long time, however there comes a a moment in life when everybody does ask themselves this:

'Is it really seemly for me to still be doing this?'

(on still watching cartoons and playing videogames...)